College Isn't For Everyone, Kids

I have a terrible memory. I've probably shared that before, but I don't remember. There are certain situations or conversations that stick out to me from my past because they have been life altering for me. This situation is one of them...

I vividly remember standing there, as a nearly graduated-early senior, talking to a teacher about my future plans. Mind you, I just had a baby within the same month I graduated early. My grades were above average. I was adjusting to a new normal. A new life of being a mom, at age 18. "Future plans" involved coming up with a way to get more sleep... Not getting mastitis again... And figuring out what part my baby's daddy was going to play in this elusive future. I just had a baby. She was weeks old. She was my world. She was my future. I remember telling this teacher a little of that and he looked stunned. "...you mean, you're not thinking about college??"

I would be lying if I said I wasn't offended by this conversation. As if my life was over without going to college. As if making it through high school wasn't an accomplishment. As if being a mother was petty and not setting my standards high enough.

Yes, I get it. College is "the holy grail", the reason for doing well in high school, the springboard for your future. At least, that's what everyone seems to think. College is really put on a pedestal. Now, don't get me wrong, my dear husband went to college, got his masters' in 5 years and has a successful job that he loves. But, that's not how it goes for everyone... I have several friends that went to college because "that's what you do". That's how you make your family proud. They picked a major because the classes worked with their schedule and it seemed like a legit way to make money someday. But that's not their reality now. They spent thousands of dollars, most STILL paying off that debt, to get a degree for a job they will never find. Some even returned to school to get a different, more practical degree.

It has taken me years and much love and encouragement from my husband to say this: My greatest accomplishment in this life is being a mom. Take that, former high school teacher. College truly is not for everyone. Motherhood is not for everyone. But it is for me. I don't need a piece of paper from a university to validate my worth. I find more glory, more pride, more refinement, more "life-experience" in being a mother than I could have ever expected a university to give me. And while, yes, it may cost even more than getting a degree, I love that my "job" every single day is to pour out love to these babies of mine. To teach them. To keep them safe. To give them opportunities. To tell them things like "College isn't for everyone, kids." I want them to know that success isn't defined by grades, scores and passing or failing a class. Success comes in so many different forms. I want to show them that fulfillment doesn't come from books and other people, but that it comes from knowing God and following His plan for your life-- whatever that may be.

If I were to see this teacher now, I would beam with pride at all that I have accomplished. I would proudly tell him that I did not go to college. And that I am working on my "4th masters' degree" as a mom. I love what I do and I would tell my 18 year old self... "Your future is even better than you can imagine."

Random Rachel/Life Update

Here we go...

* 36 weeks pregnant with sweet babe #4 on Friday. This has gone by so fast. I am speechless.

* ER trips are scary, no matter how many people say "He will be fine." Drake has a nasty laceration on the inside of his bottom lip, but because it didn't go through his lip, "he will be fine". The mouth heals quickly and on it's own. No stitches. Just prayers and a hovering mama now...

* Next week, we have an ultrasound to see how big baby sisser is. At my 34 wk appointment, I was measuring at a 37. I have one of two outcomes that would be acceptable in my mind... 1- They measured off/she was sitting funny to throw the measurement off. OR 2- My due date is sooner! I simply will not accept that she is a giant baby. Especially not when the plan is an epidural-free birth. More on that decision later.

* Cadee started band lessons at school this year and has chosen the trumpet! Good thing her room isn't finished yet.... Sound proofing will be worth the cost!

* Having sweet, elderly neighbors might be my favorite thing about living here. Doris called last week offering to give Lili piano lessons. I think a keyboard is in order for her Christmas present... She's going to LOVE it!

* My most recent prayer has been that God would be my rest and relaxation. It's much easier to tap into Him throughout my day than to fit in a nap. And, I was starting to value sleep above all else. Which would lead to severe depression once the baby comes...because sleep will be elusive, and I am prepared for that. I think...

Summer 2015 Recap

Today was the first day of school! I love looking back at our summer and all of the fun that filled it! We try to make the most of our summers, but this one especially, as the arrival of Baby Girl this fall will change how our summer looks next year.

june

June was filled with getting adjusted to summer and soaking up all the time off! We started summer with finishing up soccer and competing in a fishing competition near Grandpa and Grandma's. The girls have done this annually and this year, Drake had fun catching and actually TOUCHING a fish! I am not a big fan of fishing, but I got excited because they were excited.

I am thankful that I got to enjoy a weekend away with my City Moms Blog midwest sisters! I loved connecting and reconnecting with these mamas. Our national conference takes place the first weekend in October, and as you can guess, I will be too pregnant to make the trek. So this little Midwest Meetup was the perfect thing to tide me over until next year. These ladies, though they may live far away, have impacted and inspired me more than words can say. I am blessed to know them and be known by them.
Lili enjoyed many evenings taking classes at the local gymnastics studio. It was her first time really getting involved and she has LOVED it!! I think this is something we will definitely be a part of as long as she wants to. It's great exercise and confidence booster!
The girls got to go to Nana and Bapa's for a week while Drake and I soaked up the sun and time with friends here. We explored a local national park and had some fun in the water!
June 2015 will always be engraved in my memories, but mostly because this is the month that we

discovered we would be welcoming another baby GIRL into the family this fall. I can vividly remember the technician focusing in on it and saying, "Do YOU know what it is?" With happy tears in my eyes, I responded, "That's a girl!" We've been buying pink ever since!

july

Our summer holiday weekend was spent with Grandma and Grandpa. We had fun shooting off fireworks, playing kickball with cousins, and just enjoying time with family. I loved seeing Drakey get so excited about things that he probably doesn't remember from years past.
July got a little more complicated and messy when one morning, Drake stood beside my bed at 6:40 a.m. and said, "I wanna wear big boy undies!" as he handed me a pair of Paw Patrol undies. I vowed from the beginning that I would follow his lead with potty training and I don't think he could have been anymore clear that he was ready! I was nervous, but said a prayer and said goodbye to the diapers and we have not looked back! Day 1: We were just getting used to the idea of pausing to go pee. He had about 7 or 8 accidents but we kept at it and just tried to remind him every 40 minutes.

Day 2: We decided to go see a movie. I know you think I'm crazy, and I would have never done this with the girls. But this time around just felt different. It was his idea to potty train and I thought- why not? He did great at the theaters. Only having accidents after getting to the bathroom. Just a few seconds too late! Day 3: I think this is the day he really got it. I don't remember being overwhelmed with wet undies. He was still struggling to go #2 in the potty, and would not master this for a few more weeks, but I was just so proud of him for telling me when he had to pee that the poo thing was an after thought! Drake has done a great job and still has days where he dribbles or stops himself but needs new undies, but we haven't bought diapers since June. At first, he wore diapers for naps and bedtimes for a few days, then I noticed he was waking up dry. So after a week of potty training, we went cold turkey. I am so proud of him!

Towards the end of July, we developed a plan to have Cousin Week at Nana and Bapa's. And somehow, it worked out that Drake would stay at their house for one night with Cadee and Lili, and without mommy or daddy. Dathan and I took FULL advantage of the opportunity and had a nice, quiet 20 hours together which included a date night with friends and plenty of sleep! Drake did so well and we cannot wait to make this a regular thing.
Cousin Week was a BLAST! I'm sure the kids would agree that this needs to be an annual thing. We had fun with water: pools, beaches, water balloons and more! We watched movies, at home and in the theater. We played games and colored. And we also enjoyed the local museum, the candy shop and much more! The silliness in the house reached a record high with 6 kids, 2 aunts and one set of grandparents under one roof. We had plenty of giggle fits, inside jokes and cousin bonding during our week. I can't wait to do it again with Baby Girl in tow!

august

This month has been the most laid back of them all. Grandma came for a visit and babysat while we had a date night for our 9TH Anniversary, then Auntie Sares came for the hottest weekend of the summer and then Nana came to stay and soak up our last days of summer! We loved attending the state fair on the coolest day of the week (60s in August!). We have finished back-to-school shopping, reconnected with neighborhood friends and met our teachers on Friday. School started today, and I think even Cadee was ready for it. Drake will be lonely and miss his sissies, but October will come quickly, and with it, much more excitement!

Lili's Salvation Story

I remember the exact moment my heart skipped a beat. Out of fear. Fear that I wouldn't know all of the answers to her questions. Fear that I wouldn't instruct her to pray the right way. Fear that we wouldn't take all of the proper steps to insure she would get into heaven. But, the peace. I remember the peace more clearly than the fear. Peace that comes from letting Jesus rule and guide my heart, instead of fear. Peace from seeking counsel from a dear friend and trusted Jesus-lover. Peace that my daughter, my toughest, most emotional, most refining (for me) daughter yet would be entering the kingdom of heaven with me someday.

Lili had been asking a lot of questions about communion and heaven lately. She knows the facts, and sometimes I believe she is more spiritual than anyone. She really does believe in God and Jesus. She just needed help putting it all together. We had had conversations before, but they never went too deep. We talked about God and Jesus, we talked about how He is the creator, how He loves us and how He wants us to love Him back with our whole hearts. Now came the time for application... Well, mommy, what does that look like? What does it mean to love Jesus with your whole heart? Why do you get communion and I don't?

It was a Sunday morning....September 21, 2014. My parents were in town but decided to stay home for whatever reason. Lili was the only one going with me to church that Sunday. Looking back, I see what a sweet gift that was. To spend that time with her. We hopped in Nana and Bapa's car (Ruby) and headed to church. Lili is a talker. She has been talking and singing since she found her vocal cords! This day was no different. She started asking more questions about salvation and heaven. I can't recall every question nor every answer, but I do remember it coming back to communion and why we take that. She said, "Mom, I know it is like Jesus' body for the bread and the juice is His blood because He died on the cross, but why?"

Remember above how I mentioned my Jesus-loving friend, and how she guided me to leading my daughter to Christ? I called her one day, afraid, and asked her to meet me that night. I could tell she was concerned and she agreed. And she was pretty relieved when I told her I needed help teaching salvation to my girl. She gave me the greatest advice that I will keep for all of my children, and for any non-believer... You teach the gospel and let the Spirit do the rest.

So on that Sunday morning, in the car, on the way to church, I shared the gospel with my daughter. This wasn't the first time we have talked about Jesus coming to earth, living as a human, and dying on the cross for our sins and raising from the dead so that we may enter heaven one day. But, on this day, she looked at me in the rear view mirror and said- I do believe that, mom!

We prayed for Jesus to forgive her of her sins, come live in her heart and we thanked Him for loving us.

Have we had tough days since? Yes. Has she dishonored and disobeyed us since that day? Absolutely. Do I offer grace and forgiveness? Does Jesus? The answer is a resounding YES. This is what Jesus is. Grace. Love, Forgiveness. I am incredibly thankful that my girl GETS that. She embraces that. And she gets to live her life in the peace that grace offers.

Thank you, Jesus, for loving us when we disobey, dishonor and distrust You. Your grace knows no end. Your love is truly unconditional. Thank you for the peace that comes with it.

Lili Logic

Upon meeting someone's large dog, Lili says, "Hey mom, you think I could ride this dog?"

Then, a few weeks later, while driving around, talking about something with Cadee beside me, I hear Lili behind me, "Ooo. That dog looks big enough for me to ride."

DP Update

You are changing and growing and saying more words than your sisters most days.
You have an opinion. And it matters. 

You keep me moving. Keep me engaged. Keep me entertained.

The way you love others is fierce and raw and I hope you never ever lose that. Because love is raw. And it should be shown, no matter what is going on around you.

You are a mama's boy. To a fault. We have had many sweet moments together trying to find the balance between necessary and taking advantage. 

You are brave. 

You are quite possibly the silliest tiny human I have ever spent my days with. Giggling and wiggling and making the goofiest faces. 

Going outside is your favorite thing. Ever. Right next to tackling Izzy Miss. 

Speaking of Iz, she is your buddy. You can do anything to that cat, and she doesn't retaliate.

If you could ride your scoo-scoot everywhere, you would be so happy.

Favorite meal: Hina-saur Chicken. You are obsessed with dinosaurs. Even for lunch.

Favorite friend: Livi and Baby Beau. You and Liv have way too much fun together.
Favorite movie: Pichow. (Cars) You could watch this movie on repeat all day and still show the same genuine emotion with every scene.
Favorite thing on wheels: Motorkyko or Bus. You love seeing motorcycles. And shriek whenever there is a bus.

You are getting so big, buddy. But I love how small your B and a blanky make you look.

I still rock you for a few minutes before bedtime. I will do this as long as you let me.

We have recently started spending more hours apart with church nursery and swap days, and I am still bittersweet about it. I know that you need to grow independently and you need to be confident that I will always come back... but this means that you can function without me, and that's hard for me.

Next week, I will board an airplane while you take a nap. I will be gone for 4 days and 3 nights. I am terrified. I am anxious. I am sad. I don't want you to think I'm not coming back. I want you to know that I will be missing you fiercely, every second. I will feel lonely without you tugging on my leg. Without you grabbing my face or playing with my mouth. I will be lost without you. Literally lost. You are always pointing, asking, playing with me. I will not know what to do without you.
I also want you to know that I will come back home and be ready. Ready to take on anything with you. This trip will not be in vain. I will be refreshed. I will miss you. And sometimes, that is not a bad thing.

Right now, right here, I want to remember every single thing about you. About your face, about your character, about your likes and dislikes. You will never be this small again. This perfect. This innocent. This curious.

I love you, buddy. And I will love you even more tomorrow.

Liliana

Seven. Seven sweet years with this little game changer. I find myself often wondering "where has the time gone?". As I sit here and look through hundreds, if not thousands, of pictures; I am reminded of every single sweet year with this girl. Thank God for pictures and memories. We love this passionate, creative, sentimental idealist! Thankful for every memory, every giggle, every hard lesson learned with her. She has stretched me more than any babe ever has and I could not be more grateful to be her mama. Happy birthday, Liliana Faith.

April 2007

April 2008

September 2009

April 2010

April 2011

April 2012

April 2013

April 2014