Let Go and Let God.

I am a very passionate person. I don't just dip my toe in the pool and slowly step down the steps to get in. Stopping for awhile at each step to let myself get used to the temperature of the water. No, I am the person that walks to the deep end and DIVES IN. A little crazy? Maybe. Dangerous, even? Perhaps. I dive into things, whole heartedly. With everything I am. Marriage. Parenting. Blogging. Relationships. Church. Building my business. Being a homemaker. Baking. I am passionate about all of these things.
My downfall is that when I commit to something, I intend to accomplish it. I don't just test it... I dive in. It isn't until I'm in the very thick of it that I start to question if maybe I shouldn't have done it. This can be good and bad. Bad for obvious reasons... I start to doubt myself. I start to fail. I go absolutely crazy trying to do the impossible. Good because... When I get to that point of no return and I am wondering what the heck I was thinking, there is only one person that can fix it. And He never fails. This is what the Bible is talking about when it says... "But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Corinthians 12:9) Where we fail, where we fall short, God is there to pull us through. To perfect us. He never intended for us to do it all on our own. We are human. We are not perfect. We WILL fail. But with Christ living in us, He will do the impossible.
My family mantra will always be- "Make a memory". But I think I will adopt "Let go and let God" as my personal mantra. I struggle with guilt and feeling immense amounts of guilt about the smallest things (ask my husband!) and being crippled by guilt about the big things. I think it will be best for everyone if I can just let that stuff go and let God take that burden of guilt.
Or when it comes to parenting. I can only do so much... God never wanted me to be supermom and to do it all. He gave me the children He gave me because He knew that we could grow and learn from one another. And that I would absolutely need to lean on Him on my toughest days.
Or, more recently, with my business. I could stress every day about how small my list of clients is or if I will meet my monthly goals, but that won't help anything! I need to do my best and realize that at the end of the day, my business will only be successful if I give it to God. 

Let Go and Let God.

ONE

Our precious little prince took his very first breath one year ago today. He captured our hearts. He fascinated his sisters. He made our love grow. Just twelve months ago, we heard his first little cry, watched him open his eyes for the first time and held him in our arms for the first of many nights. We fell in love with our little man just one year ago today. (You can read all about it here.)

After each baby, I am amazed at the family transformation that occurs. How completely in love with one little person we all are. How every smile, every cry, every giggle, even every fart has our attention. We fell in love with our Drake one year ago today, and every day since then, the love has grown. 

Image by Katie Evans Photography

I love seeing a big ol' toothy grin in the morning! With arms stretched up to me, anxious for my warm embrace.
I love when he hugs someone. He tucks his little hands beneath his belly and wiggles his butt back and forth trying to get as close as possible to you.
I love how he points to get you to move while you are holding him. One sweet little finger, directing you. Compelling you to move.
I love his belly laughs! They fill the room whenever his sisters tickle and play with him.
I love how he grunts for things. He has done this his entire life and it is still adorable.
I love the complete trust that he has in people. Trust to catch him if he misses a step, trust to follow him up the stairs, trust to keep him from harm. And I love that we all do those things.
I love that he adores his daddy. The bond they have is priceless.
I love his curiosity about everything he isn't supposed to have. Watching him explore his world is a gift straight from God.
I love the noise he makes when I am getting ready to nurse him. Like he can't get it fast enough. Sounds like a little puppy whimpering.

I love watching him watch things, people, animals. The world through his eyes is such a bright and wonderful place. Full of adventure and things to put in his mouth.
I love how he crawls. Cautious. Yet quick. He has been crawling for a few months now, but it still looks new to him. 
I love feeling his body give in to sleep. That moment when he melts into your arms.
I love it when he signs "more". Even if there is a lot of food in his mouth, he instantly signs for "more". 
I love watching him walk around the furniture. And how he will push around anything that moves just so he can walk. And how he can always convince someone to take his hand and walk with him. 
I love how completely different he is from his sisters. Yes, he has some of the same looks and traits as his sisters, but as a whole, he is entirely

Drake. 
I love that he wants me when he is hurt, tired, hungry, scared. 
I love when he brings me a book to read, but really just wants to flip through the pages as fast as he is allowed. 
I love his obsession with Cheerios. He would eat the entire box if I left it within his reach.

I love how silly he gets when someone new talks to him. He snuggles in to me and gives a shy little grin.
I love his (what seem like) endless dimples!
I love my baby boy. But above all of that, I love that I get to be his mama. I love that I am a part of his memories. I love that I get to wake up each day and do things with and for him. Because that's what it's all about. Loving and being loved.

Happy birthday, Drakey. You are such a light in our lives. Constantly glowing and making us shine brighter. We are so blessed to be your parents and to be a part of your joy. 

Lili Lost a Tooth!

Liliana came home last week so excited! She had a loose tooth! Every day I would get an update on how wiggly it was. She would show me her tongue skills and wiggle that little bugger back and forth, side to side. She loved that she had a loose tooth! I didn't try to convince her to pull it. I knew that the thought of forcing it out scared her and it would have to be her idea. She has treasured that loose tooth since the day she figured out it was loose! 

Can you tell which one it is??

We have talked about putting it under her pillow for the tooth fairy, but she has requested that she keep her first two teeth. She is sentimental like that, so I'm not surprised! 

Check out that gap! Too cute.

"Here, Mom, does this help??"

Random Rachel

It's been far too long since I've graced you with some randomness. Get ready...

* Drakers has cut 3 teeth as of right now. And another one is so very close! It's cute and all, but I am so over this whole "growing up" thing. 

* I started a business! SAY WHAAAT?! Well, I joined a business, rather. I am now proud to be a Thirty One consultant. Contact me for more info. 

* It was unseasonably hot today. Not warm, HOT. After it snowed merely 11 days ago. Craziness.

* I had one of Chick-Fil-A's new salads, and it was amazing. I also tried their new avocado lime ranch dressing. I was skeptical, but it was surprisingly very good!

* Drake is going to be 1 year old in 9 days. I can't handle it. 

* Liliana has her first loose tooth EVER! She was pretty stoked about it when she got home. And also terrified that someone would pull it. 

* Went to the dentist today. My gums hurt. Not-so-fun fact: Do NOT try to make a canker sore go away by swishing with Listerine or putting an open aspirin on it! That FRIES the open sore in your mouth and causes damage to the tissue there. Instead, get a prescription for this awesome stuff my dentist told me about. I'd tell you the name of it...but then I'd have to kill you. Just kidding. I really don't know the name though.

* Did I mention I'm just sick over the idea of my sweet baby boy growing up? Because it happens. Every day he gets a little bit older, a little bit more independent and a WHOLE lot more opinionated. 

* Enjoyed a family fun weekend at the Omaha Henry Doorly Zoo recently. It was oodles of fun!! And the weather was just gorgeous! (More to come on this later!)

* I really need to be making business cards for my business because I'm all business-y now, but I have no idea what I'm doing. And my brain is tired. Hence the randomness that is spewing out all over here...

* No matter how many times someone new comes to see my house, I get giddy and love to show it off. I love our home. It may not always be spotless and shiny, but that's what gives it its charm, right?? That you can see how lived in and loved it is?? That's my theory anyways!

* Inception is a crazy good movie. Every time I watch it, it hurts my brain, but I can't stop watching it.

* Drakey Paul turns 1 year next week. I think I'll go cry myself to sleep now... 

Road Trip and Circus Fun!!

Napping Lili

A couple weekends ago, the kids and I took off for Nana and Bapa's! You may think I am absolutely crazy for road tripping by myself with 3 children, but actually, it isn't all that bad. Cadence is a huge help in the van. She likes playing "mama" since I am busy driving. She helps Lili reach things, she soothes and entertains Drake, or she sits up front with me and keeps me company. I am always so impressed by the way she acts on a long car ride. Love that girl! I was also impressed with her ability to tell time, subtract time and figure out exactly what time it would be when we would arrive. If I told her, yes, we will stop for a potty break in a few minutes. She took that literally and would say- "So at 2:33, since a few is 2 or 3 minutes, we will stop?"
I noticed a pattern as we drove. The girls and Drake did great. They hung out in the back. Didn't fuss for a snack or drink. Watched the DVD player (must have, in my opinion). Giggled. Lili even napped (see picture)! But, it felt like Speed. There was a magic speed minimum in their heads and if I ever dropped below that, it triggered their enthusiasm..... "Are we there???! Where's Nana's?" Needless to say, they were excited to finally GET THERE! And get out of the car to tackle them with lovies. 

Cadee reading about salamanders

Every year, my sister gets us circus tickets through her work. It's a special thing for her to take the girls and I (and maybe Drakey next year) to the circus each spring. The girls look forward to it almost as much as Sares and I. Aunt Sares really spoils us at the circus. Treats, soda, a toy or two, and the girls each get to pick one thing to do at intermission (ride an elephant, a horse or a camel, jump in a bouncy house, hold a snake or have your face painted). This year, Cadee had her heart set on cotton candy annnnd.... Riding an elephant! We tried to get her to last year, but it was still scary then. She was brave and marched right up there and got on. Nevermind the fact that she held on for dear life the first couple laps! :) After that, she started to loosen up and actually lift her hand to wave at me. She thought it was pretty neat riding such a huge animal!

Liliana thought the clowns were fantastic. Of course she would, they have every color of the rainbow- and that's just on their head! As we walked around getting our treats, she wanted to stop and take a picture with each one. She chose to have her face painted. It was the least scary thing available. 

We had a great night with Aunt Sares! Some of our favorites were: Bo, the elephant. Always amazed at that. The girls that twirl on the ropes and scarf things, and later they twirl by their hair! We love the skit that the clown does where he winds up what appears to be a little stuffed elephant. It walks along and follows him and then falls over. In the end, the clown pulls a little dog out of the elephant costume. We laugh every time! And Lili was uber excited to see the man shoot out of the cannon! Thank you, Sares, for another memorable night. Looking forward to next year and seeing Drake's reaction to the sights, smells and sounds of the circus! 

Liliana Faith

My Liliana

My Liliana is sweet and kind.

She will rub your shoulders, 

She doesn't mind.

My Liliana has sass and flare.
She loves to dress up
And style hair.

My Liliana is beautiful and proud.
She sparkles and shines

In any crowd.

My Liliana loves to sing and dance.
Justin Bieber doesn't

Stand a chance.

My Liliana is funny and smart.

Her brain is as full

As her heart.

My Liliana, how I love her so.
It is amazing to
Watch her grow.

You have rocked my world since the moment you entered it. I cannot imagine life without your sweet smile and fierce lovies! 

Happy 6th birthday, sweet baby girl. I love you.

Nap Time

Ninety percent of the time, getting my little man to sleep is a cinch! Snuggling or nursing him in his room for 20 minutes or so and he slips into a nice little coma. However...the other ten percent of the time, LOOK OUT!! I'm not strict on schedules and routines, but I know when he needs some more sleep, especially when he's fighting some sort of virus or the night before was sleepless. These are the times when I say a prayer for supernatural peace, turn on my sweet voice, take a few deep breaths, and hunker down for some major sleep fighting.
I start out trying to nurse him. Usually I can tell within the first few moments if this is going to work or not. His eyes get droopy, his legs stop moving and he holds my hand ever so sweetly. Otherwise, he is a wiggly mess! He flails his legs and arms and does not nurse for long.
Next, we try the binky. He usually takes it, but once in awhile he tosses it! So, we start the tummy rubbing and humming. If he is being a real bear, he scratches at my hand with his razor sharp fingernails, and continuously tries to sit up and get down.
We hum. We rock. We bounce. We sing. We try nursing again. We massage. We wrap the blanket a little tighter... and an hour later- WALLAH! We have a snoring little man. Yes, it took an hour today. But it is those times when I have to remember that this too shall pass, and that some day, I will bitterly miss this. I will miss him reaching up at my face (not to caress, but to claw). I will miss him humming (not sweetly, but frustrated). I will miss every single little noise distracting him (and needing his immediate attention, in his mind). I will miss trying to protect my face and hands while still making sure he doesn't slip from my lap with all of the wiggling (while he fusses and completely trusts that I won't drop him!). 
Sleep training can wait. I need to get my fill of this while I can!