Lili's Salvation Story

I remember the exact moment my heart skipped a beat. Out of fear. Fear that I wouldn't know all of the answers to her questions. Fear that I wouldn't instruct her to pray the right way. Fear that we wouldn't take all of the proper steps to insure she would get into heaven. But, the peace. I remember the peace more clearly than the fear. Peace that comes from letting Jesus rule and guide my heart, instead of fear. Peace from seeking counsel from a dear friend and trusted Jesus-lover. Peace that my daughter, my toughest, most emotional, most refining (for me) daughter yet would be entering the kingdom of heaven with me someday.

Lili had been asking a lot of questions about communion and heaven lately. She knows the facts, and sometimes I believe she is more spiritual than anyone. She really does believe in God and Jesus. She just needed help putting it all together. We had had conversations before, but they never went too deep. We talked about God and Jesus, we talked about how He is the creator, how He loves us and how He wants us to love Him back with our whole hearts. Now came the time for application... Well, mommy, what does that look like? What does it mean to love Jesus with your whole heart? Why do you get communion and I don't?

It was a Sunday morning....September 21, 2014. My parents were in town but decided to stay home for whatever reason. Lili was the only one going with me to church that Sunday. Looking back, I see what a sweet gift that was. To spend that time with her. We hopped in Nana and Bapa's car (Ruby) and headed to church. Lili is a talker. She has been talking and singing since she found her vocal cords! This day was no different. She started asking more questions about salvation and heaven. I can't recall every question nor every answer, but I do remember it coming back to communion and why we take that. She said, "Mom, I know it is like Jesus' body for the bread and the juice is His blood because He died on the cross, but why?"

Remember above how I mentioned my Jesus-loving friend, and how she guided me to leading my daughter to Christ? I called her one day, afraid, and asked her to meet me that night. I could tell she was concerned and she agreed. And she was pretty relieved when I told her I needed help teaching salvation to my girl. She gave me the greatest advice that I will keep for all of my children, and for any non-believer... You teach the gospel and let the Spirit do the rest.

So on that Sunday morning, in the car, on the way to church, I shared the gospel with my daughter. This wasn't the first time we have talked about Jesus coming to earth, living as a human, and dying on the cross for our sins and raising from the dead so that we may enter heaven one day. But, on this day, she looked at me in the rear view mirror and said- I do believe that, mom!

We prayed for Jesus to forgive her of her sins, come live in her heart and we thanked Him for loving us.

Have we had tough days since? Yes. Has she dishonored and disobeyed us since that day? Absolutely. Do I offer grace and forgiveness? Does Jesus? The answer is a resounding YES. This is what Jesus is. Grace. Love, Forgiveness. I am incredibly thankful that my girl GETS that. She embraces that. And she gets to live her life in the peace that grace offers.

Thank you, Jesus, for loving us when we disobey, dishonor and distrust You. Your grace knows no end. Your love is truly unconditional. Thank you for the peace that comes with it.

Lili Logic

Upon meeting someone's large dog, Lili says, "Hey mom, you think I could ride this dog?"

Then, a few weeks later, while driving around, talking about something with Cadee beside me, I hear Lili behind me, "Ooo. That dog looks big enough for me to ride."

DP Update

You are changing and growing and saying more words than your sisters most days.
You have an opinion. And it matters. 

You keep me moving. Keep me engaged. Keep me entertained.

The way you love others is fierce and raw and I hope you never ever lose that. Because love is raw. And it should be shown, no matter what is going on around you.

You are a mama's boy. To a fault. We have had many sweet moments together trying to find the balance between necessary and taking advantage. 

You are brave. 

You are quite possibly the silliest tiny human I have ever spent my days with. Giggling and wiggling and making the goofiest faces. 

Going outside is your favorite thing. Ever. Right next to tackling Izzy Miss. 

Speaking of Iz, she is your buddy. You can do anything to that cat, and she doesn't retaliate.

If you could ride your scoo-scoot everywhere, you would be so happy.

Favorite meal: Hina-saur Chicken. You are obsessed with dinosaurs. Even for lunch.

Favorite friend: Livi and Baby Beau. You and Liv have way too much fun together.
Favorite movie: Pichow. (Cars) You could watch this movie on repeat all day and still show the same genuine emotion with every scene.
Favorite thing on wheels: Motorkyko or Bus. You love seeing motorcycles. And shriek whenever there is a bus.

You are getting so big, buddy. But I love how small your B and a blanky make you look.

I still rock you for a few minutes before bedtime. I will do this as long as you let me.

We have recently started spending more hours apart with church nursery and swap days, and I am still bittersweet about it. I know that you need to grow independently and you need to be confident that I will always come back... but this means that you can function without me, and that's hard for me.

Next week, I will board an airplane while you take a nap. I will be gone for 4 days and 3 nights. I am terrified. I am anxious. I am sad. I don't want you to think I'm not coming back. I want you to know that I will be missing you fiercely, every second. I will feel lonely without you tugging on my leg. Without you grabbing my face or playing with my mouth. I will be lost without you. Literally lost. You are always pointing, asking, playing with me. I will not know what to do without you.
I also want you to know that I will come back home and be ready. Ready to take on anything with you. This trip will not be in vain. I will be refreshed. I will miss you. And sometimes, that is not a bad thing.

Right now, right here, I want to remember every single thing about you. About your face, about your character, about your likes and dislikes. You will never be this small again. This perfect. This innocent. This curious.

I love you, buddy. And I will love you even more tomorrow.

Liliana

Seven. Seven sweet years with this little game changer. I find myself often wondering "where has the time gone?". As I sit here and look through hundreds, if not thousands, of pictures; I am reminded of every single sweet year with this girl. Thank God for pictures and memories. We love this passionate, creative, sentimental idealist! Thankful for every memory, every giggle, every hard lesson learned with her. She has stretched me more than any babe ever has and I could not be more grateful to be her mama. Happy birthday, Liliana Faith.

April 2007

April 2008

September 2009

April 2010

April 2011

April 2012

April 2013

April 2014

Verzani Playland

We have lived in our house for a year and a half, this summer. Last summer, we kept busy exploring the parks in our city and visiting friends. Our backyard is HUGE, but it was plain and boring. You can only kick a ball from fence to fence so many times before it loses it's appeal... So this year, we went all out. Thanks to some help, we were able to get an amazing, huge, sturdy, FUN playset for our backyard! 

When we first told Cadee about it, she was a little disappointed. Thinking it would be little and lame. Then, as we began to piece it together, she got more and more excited. She's at a tough age where she's getting too old and too big for alot of things. She was so happy that this playset could be something for her too! She really bursted with excitement when we set up the trampoline!

Our intent this year was to draw the girls' friends to our home. To facilitate and house the play dates and relationships. To help them build good friendships and to learn to be good friends. It's really difficult to do that if they aren't here with us. And in that hope, our Verzani Playland was born.

Drake does not go down the slide. In the picture below- he went down with Cadee and has gone down with me maybe once. But he much prefers to give his sisters a good shove and watch them fly off the end! (As pictured above) It is a FAST slide! I even tumbled off the end when I went down and laid there laughing for awhile. Drake was very concerned! The next time I tried to go down, he told me "no" and pulled me away from the slide. So cute. 

The girls LOVE having their friends knocking on the door all the time to come play. (And we love it too!) It is exactly what we hoped this playset would do: draw the friends over and get the girls outside and active! These girls have never slept so good in their lives!
Drakey loves to invite me to come play with him. He says "siiide" to go outside, then he asks me to "jumm??" on the trampoline, go "up" in the playset with him, to "knock" and come "in" to the fort part below, run and kick the "ball" with him. We are having a blast in our Verzani Playland- making memories!

Izzy Kitty

Around Valentine's Day, we adopted a sweet, 4 month old calico kitty. We always knew we wanted a family pet. We thought that pet would be a puppy, but quite honestly, our season of life doesn't allow for a puppy right now! We wanted something furry and cuddly that would curl up with the girls, and eventually the boy, at night. Preferably a pet that we could leave at home without worrying. A kitty was the perfect fit. We started looking online for the youngest kitty we could find. Not only because they are so adorable, but we also wanted to get a young one so that we could train it to fit our lifestyle. To become comfortable with our kids. We were afraid of getting an older cat that was set in its ways. We looked online, we went to the Animal Rescue League, we went to PetSmart...We searched. We held kitties. We thought LONG and HARD about this.

Epic Parent Fail: We tried to be a puppy family. We adopted an 8 week old beagle last August. She was sweet and adorable....and SO. MUCH. WORK. I grew up with dogs, and so did Hubs, but we never had to be the caretakers and trainers, and my dogs were ALWAYS outside dogs. We both had NO idea what we were doing. It was stressful. We would have totally made it work, because we all loved her. Until, one day, she jumped up at Drake's face, playfully. Then, I'd notice him on the floor and puppy would go up to lick and play with him and he would just roll onto his belly and cover his head. Scared. Anxious. Unsure. All things I did not want him to feel around animals. We prayed. We cried. We lost sleep over this pup. Finally, we decided that this puppy needed a new family. We drove puppy back to the breeders.

Six months later... We still dreamed of a family pet. We were {obviously} scared to go down that road again. And to disappoint the little people of the house. I had a cat growing up. I remember how laid back and awesome it was. I have tried to be a cat family since the day we became a family. Hubs needed more convincing. After searching and visiting and talking and reasoning... we found her. Her name was Roxie. She was 4 months old. The previous owners had to give her up, as their newborn was allergic. (How sad!) She was litterbox trained. {Ahhhh!!} We went to visit her and she immediately snuggled up to my chin to say hi. She was sweet, she was pretty, she needed to be ours. Even as Hubs filled out the paperwork to adopt her, I don't think he was as certain.

Izzy's "Gotcha" Day
We found her, we wanted her. The girls had a late start due to the roads, but that didn't stop us! We went to visit her. She was so sweet. They brought her into a room with us. We played with her. Drake squealed with delight! The girls were excited, but cautious. Unsure if we would go through with it. We talked about renaming her, and all easily agreed on "Izzy". I told Hubs yes. He filled out the papers, unsure as well. I was sure. Well, I was sure that we wanted her. I was definitely worried that she wouldn't adapt well, or wouldn't like Drake, or would have accidents. When Hubs was done, we had to get the girls back to school while Izzy had her final check up there. We dropped them off, ran to Target for kitty supplies and then went to pick up our kitty! We got her home, let her out to roam, filled her litterbox, food and water. She just walked around our main level, sniffing, wandering. She found her food, water and litterbox. She did so well. She slept with Lili and in the clean laundry in the hallway. It was surreal. I expected problems. I expected accidents. There were none.

Best Buds

From Day 1, Drake has been in LOVE with this kitty! He squeals at her and shrieks in excitement! He loves waking up and seeing her walk down the stairs with us. For awhile, I think he was just surprised that she was still here! It only took a couple weeks for him to catch onto her name, and now he says it all the time. "Hey Iz! Hi Iz-Iz!" {You can also find him telling her "Noooo" or meowing at her.} Those two are quite the pair! We really appreciate that when she is sick of him picking on her, she goes and hides and comes out when she's ready again. He loves to wrestle with her, and she doesn't fight back. He lays on her, and she just lays there and bats at his head. He is obsessed with putting his finger in my mouth, and he does it to her, and she lets him. We could not have imagined a more perfect pet. Just yesterday, Drake ran into the entryway to play with Izzy on the steps, and he tripped and fell. Izzy was in crazy, playful mode, but as soon as he fussed, she ran down the starts and patted him on the back while trying to look at his face, as if to make sure he was ok. It was incredibly sweet.

So, here we are! A happy CAT family! The girls leave their doors cracked at night and Izzy sleeps with one of them each night. She roams freely when we are here and gone. My sister sent her a toy and a scratch post, which she LOVES to use. It has gone flawlessly. We love having a kitty to cuddle and play with!

Family Time at the Grocery Store

**DISCLAIMER: I am not a fun hater. I usually welcome any chance to giggle or add some fun to a situation. However, on this particular day, I was not up for much fun. Thank goodness for my hubby!**

A friend of mine said it best when she posted a picture of her son with a little red shopping cart on Facebook and said they are "the best and the worst thing ever". I COMPLETELY agree. On Saturday, Hubby, myself and alllllll of our kids headed to Fareway to get our groceries for the upcoming week and supplies for Christmas candy making. As I cringed when I saw the little red grocery carts and quickly tried to hustle everyone past them, my amazing, fun, awesome-dad of a husband stopped and pointed them out. And offered one to each kid. It doesn't take ridiculous strength or a super power to be a hero to your kids, and I am pretty sure that morning, Dad was their hero. Rescuing them from a boring Saturday morning at the grocery store.
We started out, Hubs had a list, and I had a list. The first thing the girls asked for, I said yes. They were genuinely surprised, and I was too. I told them that they had a limit to things they could ask for, so choose wisely. I wouldn't always say yes, but they didn't need to ask for everything they saw, either. We continue on our way, getting everything on our list. And Drake throwing things in his cart too...I guess he had a list of his own! We are having fun. The kids only need a few reminders that this is not a go-cart track, but we are doing fairly well. There is one lady in particular who would disagree whole-heartedly. She was not very amused by our family outing. She would look at us and just shake her head. Then there were other people that would giggle and say "what good helpers you have!" There are two kinds of people.
We ended the trip, all pulling into the same check out line, coming in under budget for groceries, and loading into the van. All smiles--Thanks to my hubby and his nonchalant way of going about things, and not caring what other people in the store thought. I am grateful that he saw the potential for happiness that day. I was clearly not even looking for it.